YOU ARE NOT ALONE: REAL LIFE STORIES
Anonymous Notes From Picky People – I Left an Alcoholic
I married an alcoholic. He was a wonderful guy at times which is what kept me there for so many years. But our rollercoaster relationship always put me in a state of unknowing what would happen next or how I would be feeling. As he teetered between abstinence and intoxication, I would teeter between feeling scared the sobriety wouldn’t last and rage over the active alcoholism. I took my fear out by picking at my face. This was a place where I could at least find predictable results. I took my rage out on my skin. With all the screaming I did at him, nothing made a dent in his alcoholism. So my repulsive sores and hideous welts screamed out as well.
There was finally a straw that broke the camel’s back and I left him. After so many years of ups and downs and broken promises, somehow I found the strength to leave and not look back. Almost immediately I stopped picking at my face. I found by removing the cause of my unhappiness I didn’t have the same drive to destroy myself anymore.
We have since gotten back together again, but I learned a HUGE lesson from that experience. I was letting the stress and unhappiness take over my life and my fingers. I know now, HE IS NOT THE PROBLEM. I am in charge of my own habits and fixing them. I have learned tons of stres mgmt techniques: yoga, meditation, walking away from arguments. and others… And I found Al-Anon, a support group for people in relationships with addicts.
I have relapsed into picking once in awhile when I feel especially stressed or depressed, and also when my period makes me break out. At that point it feels more like a dumb old habit, rather than an overwhelming obsession. But over all I just don’t have the same unstoppable drive anymore.
