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Stories

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    HAD to Change

    Good Girl

    Ants

    How I Do It

    It's Not Me

    Foreign Objects

    Laughing Matter

    Violent Tendancies

    Feels Good

    Still in Closet

    Open Door

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    Allergic to Light

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    Alcoholic

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YOU ARE NOT ALONE: REAL LIFE STORIES

Anonymous Notes From Picky People - I Left an Alcoholic

I married an alcoholic. He was a wonderful guy at times which is what kept me there for so many years. But our rollercoaster relationship always put me in a state of unknowing what would happen next or how I would be feeling. As he teetered between abstinence and intoxication, I would teeter between feeling scared the sobriety wouldn't last and rage over the active alcoholism. I took my fear out by picking at my face. This was a place where I could at least find predictable results. I took my rage out on my skin. With all the screaming I did at him, nothing made a dent in his alcoholism. So my repulsive sores and hideous welts screamed out as well.

There was finally a straw that broke the camel's back and I left him. After so many years of ups and downs and broken promises, somehow I found the strength to leave and not look back. Almost immediately I stopped picking at my face. I found by removing the cause of my unhappiness I didn't have the same drive to destroy myself anymore.

I have relapsed into picking once in awhile when I feel especially stressed, and also when my period makes me break out. At that point it feels more like a dumb old habit, rather than an overwhelming obsession. But over all I just don't have the same unstoppable drive anymore.

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