Breaking the Breakout Cycle
Victim or Aggressor? The Simpson Deposition Transcripts
The following is a copy of the videotaped deposition of O.J. Simpson taken on behalf of the Plaintiffs on Thursday, January 25, 1996. They have been edited for brevity’s and continuity’s sake. The answers are Mr. Simpson speaking.
Q: You caused all those marks on her face that you see in these pictures, didn’t you?
A: Some of them may have just been her picking her face, but if there’s bruises and stuff, I’m certainly responsible for them, yes.
Q: Tell me what happened.
A: She had an argument with me, and she went out of the room, and I locked the door, the argument started, and she got out of the bed–usually it started in the bed. She got out of the bed and went and I guess what she does is pick and clean her face–
Q: “Pick” her face, what does that mean?
A: I don’t know. She does it every night. Women–ask your wife. She’ll tell you.
Q: She went into the bathroom and you saw her start to pick her face?
A: At one point, yes.
Q: At one point before she came out of the bathroom you saw her picking her face?
Q: And when you went downstairs, you saw her picking her face.
A: Doing what she does every night. Every night. Cleaning her face and picking her face. She has sort of a thing about that.
Q: What does “picking her face” mean?
A: I don’t know. Getting blackheads out, squeezing pimples, that kind of stuff.
Q: When she did this every night, did she walk out of the bathroom with marks on her face?
A: Sometimes very apparent marks, yes.
Q: Marks exactly like any of the marks you see on her face in these photographs?
A: Sort of like this (Indicating) by her nose, some of these things (Indicating) on her chin. Yes, she looked like that quite often after she picked her face.
Q: What happened after you saw her picking her skin?
A: I went and got water, and climbed back in bed.
Through my own research I found it was not uncommon for pickers to share the common thread of abuse somewhere in their lifetime. In fact, people who have been subject to abuse are more likely to have this happen than someone who has not. Sometimes the abusive partner is more insidious than typical physical abuse. This means emotional abuse, where self esteem is battered on a regular basis, can be just as detrimental to self esteem. And even if a picker has left the abusive partner they may continue to abuse themselves.
It is obvious that Nicole began to pick after there was an emotional disturbance in her relationship. The fact to consider is this: Yes, Nicole was the victim of spousal abuse, but at the same time she was the victim of her own self abuse and her partner did nothing to stop it.
The habitual picker is both Victim and Aggressor in the same breath. The ultimate paradox is that the habitual picker is the victim of his or her own aggressively destructive behavior. Therein lies the convoluted truth behind this complex disorder. This book is meant to unravel this paradox and provide multiple threads of information and tools that will help facilitate understanding and recovery.
Just know. You are not alone.